Zulu Blood (Soldier for Hire #1)

Zulu Blood (Soldier for Hire #1)
Robert Skimin
1981

At a cover glance, Zulu Blood looks like it has it all: a discontent hardass protagonist with the silver likeness of Lee Marvin; people getting shot on the cover; implications of mercenaries; and of course, all taking place presumably in Heart of Darkness Africa, with some sort of pulp Zulu influence. These things are indeed all present, but it was a read that quickly showed its true colors of being quite a slog. I've been coming quite acquainted with Zebra's paperbacks lately; or, more so the size of them. Most of what I own is all horror, and despite somewhat large-ish print, they're still quite the tome. No exception here for their action line, and it certainly reads that way.

Zulu Blood starts off strong with the entertainment, but maybe not in the intentional way. Our hero, JC Stonewall, instantly starts going off on insane page-length rants about America's involvement in the Vietnam War--and not in the generally universal "we shouldn't have been there" view, but more so how we fucked up and didn't do it right. Liberals and commies instantly become interchangeable to hilarious extents. He know his flaws and how his dad was a no good drunk, but goddammit, he was a good American. This sort of comical jingoism permeates the entire novel like classic WWII propaganda posters, which, while funny at first, can start to fluff out the text.

The story stars with JC taking on a job from a white plantation owner in Africa. Her daughter and zany father are missing and, naturally, she's a MILF, which JC takes full advantage of after his brash introduction charms her into submission. Dad and daughter left to join up with a crazy warlord, as they feel like his leadership is good for the area or something, leading JC to bring a few of the Milf's workers with him to infiltrate the camp undercover as a reporter.

The biggest problem with Zulu Blood is that there's not a whole lot of action in between the exposition and sex. When it does happen it's pretty violent, like when JC mows people in half with his Uzi, then unloads the clip into the corpse while screaming a rebel yell. I'd take that stuff all day, but it's fairly sparse. A large portion of the book is spent arguing politics, like complaining about women's liberation and 'Red' China. JC's old buddy, a black fellow, appears partway through the book, which JC jokingly calls racial epithets at every chance he can get -- since they're such good buds and all. It's all pretty absurd, and while I do love this sort of insane writing it really grates through, simply because there's just so goddamn much of it, at times reading like actual propaganda. And yeah, I could obviously bat an eye at this and chuckle, but there's simply not enough action to balance it out. There's sponge-baths and blowjobs and some ritual torture, but even the finale lacks a good action resolution at the end of this padded monster.

I won't throw in the towel just yet on Stonewall. Some of these other volumes by other writers sound a bit better, but I probably won't be going out of my way to find any anytime soon. The recent library sale held one volume of the series, but sadly it was just Zulu Blood again. We'll see what the future holds for Solder for Hire.

Hell Raiders (Pasukan berani mati)

Hell Raiders (Pasukan berani mati)
Imam Tantowi
1982/83

Hell Raiders is a great title. A few films share that same name because it's so good. For this one in particular, the Indonesian titled Pasukan berani mati, Hell Raiders seems to be its dubbed counterpart. I've seen it translated as Soldiers Are Willing to Die, and Google translate tells me it's Death Squads. All pretty nice titles in my book. There may be a few versions out there, but this dubbed version I watched was just over two hours, which syncs up pretty well with the original Indonesian language track version. IMDB claims it's an hour and forty minutes, so who knows if that exists even.

And speaking of its length, Hell Raiders could certainly use some trimming. It's a pretty serious tale, and a real one at that, based on Indonesia's war against the Dutch empire for their independence, but it's still pretty standard Indonesian action fare for the time. Rapi films was primarily known for their exploitation style filmmaking, but they definitely go all out for this. There's plenty of explosions, military vehicles, and loads of extras that perish in the fighting that comes.

However, at two hours there's a lot of padding, because while the budget's bigger they still can't manage to blow up enough military camps or frankenvehicles for that duration. In between you get a lot of characters introduced and some inner turmoil emotion, all of which is whisked away due to sporadic light humor and the exploitative action you crave.

A lot of familiar faces, like Barry Prima (The Warrior series), Dana Christina (The Stabilizer, Rambu), Dicky Zulkarnaen (Virgins from Hell, The White Crocodile), and many others, so while Hell Raiders isn't always raiding Hell, there's still enough to be entertained by, like slingshots to the face, arrows in the neck, exploding fishing boats where bodies go flying, and even a sacrificial bombing that sends a head flying. Not essential stuff, but definitely enough to like.

Pictures at some point, otherwise this is just sitting in draft hell.

Menumpas Terrorists (The Terrorists)

The Terrorists (Menumpas Terrorists)
Imam Tantowi
1986

I've been wanting to see this a while now after seeing the rad cover a number of times, featuring Barry Prima in a beret (a perennial favorite) holding this insane gun that sadly isn't in the movie. The director, Imam Tantowi is mainly credited with a handful of Indonesian fantasy films, but I mostly see him come up for stuff like Blazing Battle, which also got an English dub VHS, and Hell Raiders, both of which I still need to watch. After watching The Terrorists, it's nigh time to get those watched 'cause this was killer.

I just rambled on two posts ago about my love for disaster and I also live for action. This is a combination of the two, so out of the gate it's already ticking all of the right boxes. I can best describe it as being like Hard Boiled mixed with The Towering Inferno, with the first half of the film being action and the second half a disaster scenario.

So yeah, some terrorists get some bombs from some genius nerd in a shack, then proceed to blow it up and go on the run. The cops find out and a chase ensues, mixing in actual driving with greenscreen where the drivers just shake the wheel back and forth erratically, just like in real life. This looks particularly rough since the greenscreened image is all washed out.

It gets crazier when the terrorists arrive at a hospital, which has also been greenscreened! Things start getting surreal, because parts of the hospital and even the outside of it aren't scaled correctly, so sometimes people look really small and other things absolutely enormous.

The terrorists bust into the hospital and start blowing people away at random. Pretty soon the special forces are called in. Indonesian action star Barry Prima and company are dropped in via helicopter, glad in bullet proof armor, berets, and white gloves. They drop in through the roof and windows and start spraying away into crowds of people to hit the bad dudes with precision accuracy from their MAC-10s.

In one crazy scenario, Prima and his partner Terminator walk down the hall and come face to face with two terrorists, one of which happens to be Advent Bangun, this real hardass looking actor I see frequently in Indonesian stuff. Both groups just stare at each other and then just keep unloading bullets, but Prima and crew just sit there stoically as their armor soaks up all the rounds.

Most of the terrorists are dispatched pretty quickly, but the lead creep runs up the stairs and starts setting off all the bombs, creating the aforementioned disaster scenario. Floors and halls are all on fire now and smoke is everywhere. Patients with bandaged heads and broken legs leap through windows and off the roof, only to fall with a greenscreened background until they slam on the grass below. The police call in the firetrucks (one happens to be a station wagon) and the rescue begins.

Firefighters enter the building and create a chute through a window and start passing in through patients, while above a helicopter picks up groups of people in a giant net. The remaining terrorist cackles and informs everyone they are all going to die, randomly shooting innocents along the way. He makes it up to the roof as well, shoots a few patients, then starts arguing with a doctor and demands that he holds the baby he's cradling. The doctor naturally gives in.

Chaos still ensues, with scenes of patients and staff on fire. In one insane scene some lady is looking for a baby, only for the camera to show a bloody little body being trampled on the stairs! Then we're back to the terrorist on the roof, making insane demands with the police below and randomly shooting people, all while holding a baby that he frequently points his submachine gun at.

This was pretty wild. I was a bit disappointed when the terrorist crew got taken down, but then gleefully excited once I saw what this was turning into. I viewed an old Japanese VHS that was dubbed into English with Japanese hardsubs at the bottom. There's multiple versions out there in multiple languages, including a widescreen print in Indonesian.

Pictures eventually when I'm not a lardass.